JOLYN CY♥
blessed (:

take me to the sky

6:30 PM ahh.
feel like typing alot.
but my fingers are trembling alot.
cuz of that double a paper's box.
which i filled with all the stuff i hav to bring home
last minutely.
i decided to just bring every single thing instead of stuffing them into my locker.
which is quite messy with my art stuff that i din want to bring home.
hmm. yea.
and qinyan had to return my harrypotterandthehalfbloodprince today since she left it under her table too. extra load.
so had to carry this box home.on the road.mrt.and bus.
blah.
lets start off everything. its gonna be long.
basically the bottom's more impt than this crap.
so after sch i went to hand up jessica's late pt.
then ys and casslyn had to go see mr connolly.
so i thot maybe i would wait abit for them.
then when they came back.
i was casually asking what they were doing with him.
then casslyn had to give me this cold and sharp and sarcastic "NOTHING."
that was totally demoralising.heck.i dun reli give a damn.
then so i carried the box and walk with them.
and yanshan just laughed and laughed at me carrying the box.
it isnt THAT funnayy. ive seen my pri sch snr do the same. *rolls eyes.*
just because u nvr saw ppl doing that doesnt mean that you should laugh at ppl doing it.
it just means that u've seen too lil of the world.
n it nvr occurred to her that my hands were aching and hurting.
then casslyn has to flash her phone and therefore there was sth SECRETIVE as usual.
which is vehveh LAME. so they got hooked onto the phone.
and i wasnt VEHVEH interested or sth so walked infront.
then when the bus came.
they just walked in front of me like i nvr exsisted and boarded the bus together.
casslyn helping yanshan to tap her card. cuz yanshan was carrying some files.
hmm. i guess they nvr reli noticed that i WAS with them and i am carrying a HEAVY box filled with alot of files and books.
so i couldnt tap my card.
had to ask this sec1 girl who's in another class. and in elds who was super nice and helped me.
that's the first person i had to thank.
there wasnt any place to sit as usual.
so i had to stand and prop the box on a horizontal bar in the bus.LUCKY ME.
my arms were breaking.
try carrying that thing and walking to the busstop far away and opposite of the sch.
i tapped my card at orchard b4 i carried the box again to alight.
guess yanshan and casslyn decided to go to dhoubyghaut without tellin me or anything.
fine la. so went to the mrt. couldnt tap my card at the mrt again.
had to ask shimin. my sec2 snr. to help me.
most unfortunately she wasnt going to take the mrt.
so she tapped my card and failed throwing it into my box.
and a chinesehigh guy behind him din know that she wasnt going in. so he tapped his card and wasted some money. this is confusing.dun try to understand.
hmm. so the wallet was on the ground and my bag had to slip off at this moment.
so i dropped my bag and took my wallet and went to prop the box somewhere then went to grab my bag again.
saw ppl pointing at it suspiciously. think they thought it was some BOMB. haha.
so when i took it they were like. PHEW. and laughed.
then i took my box and went to the platform.
IMMEDIATELY dropped my box on a seat and rested.
my arms were bloody painful and swollen and red.
so much so my watch got too tight.
i was feeling so exasperated that i sms-ed junhao snr.
then realise i couldnt type properly cuz my fingers/hands were trembling too much.
like now.
then i saw that chinesehigh guy.
after much debating with myself. i went over and apologised.
he forgave me. [saw him alighting at tanahmerah later. wanted to say sorry again but he din see me.]
train came.
went on board. a nice teenager gave up his seat for me. OMG. so touched.
i thanked him and sat. with LOTS of difficulty.
so that's 2 thanks.
was quite a comical sight i guess.
then when i got off to switch trains i thanked the guy again.
3 thanks.
then on the other train another uncle gave up his seat for me.
singapore has such NICE gentlemen. i feel glad for myself to be in such a nice environment.
then i sat down a lil less comically. since i got the hang of it.
saw ys and cass somewhere in another cart.
they saw me too.
cuz i saw casslyn giving me very nasty looks from the reflections of glass.
yea. i guess they din want to care about my exsistence cuz they nvr came to talk to me.
FINE. i dun exactly need ppl to talk to on the mrt.
worst was i could take out my ipod mini.
i dunno why. i just felt so demoralised and sad over stuff i dunno. my eyes started to water a lil.
then i realise that this pri sch girl sitting right opposite me was staring at me.
so i blinked my tears away quickly avoiding her gaze.
when she left i had this urge to smile at her but she nvr looked my way so nvm.
and when the uncle who gave up his seat for me left i also wanted to say thanks again.
but he also didnt look my way. so nvm.
then i finally reached simei.
and i called my sis to come to my rescue.
at least she would be able to help me tap my card in the bus and hold 2 files.
so i had to tap my card out of the mrt myself.
was quite a success.(:
although i could sense casslyn laughing at me. WADEVER.
then my sis came. helped me alot. took 2 files and my card and went to help me buy bubble tea.
then at home my sister was amazed at how she could feel the vibration of my hand so strongly.
tata. that's all. about lar.
dun reli feel like giving much more content.
now for my inner views.
hmm.

im like thoroughly disappointed.
i mean. yea. recently i havent been on much terms with yanshan and casslyn.
except for going home with them and yunxi and charmbu and chengchia and jiawen and whoever else.
so i thot i could wait for them and then try to like smhow just talk abit or sth.
then i had to receive demoralising news. like. casslyn's "NOTHING." and yanshan's laughin.which wasnt exactly very polite.
then they had to isolate me at the bus again.
so much so i had to ask a nice batchmate to help me.
and then at city hall.
they saw me but they nvr wanted to talk to me i guess.
and casslyn has to give me very nasty looks.
did they expect me to get my ass off and walk to them with the heavy box.
when my arms were already swollen and red.
idunno. and i dun feel like knowing.
iguesseverything'sjustoverhuhs.
ijustfeelrelirelidisappointed.
imean. yea. i guess i dun expect to be on great terms with casslyn at all.
cuz i dun exactly fancy her alot.
and as for yanshan. i dunno lar.
she was one of my closest fren.
but now. all she talks about is casslyn and cheng chia.
i guess new and famous frens are more impt huhs.
i tried but it just wun work.
i dun see any point in friendships.
when a person is in trouble and her frens who are with her doesnt even care to help.
i reli dun see the point.
then why hav frens in the first place.
when u can just depend on ur family.nice strangers.and fellow batchmates.
forget it.
'learn to be lonely' by minnie driver. sheryl's recommendation.
i guess im more and more agreeing to it.
who will be there for me? no one.
i guess i hav to learn to be lonely.
after all. i dun hav frens and ppl dun want me to be their frens.
sighs. dun feel like elaborating more on what im thinking about.
my arms are seriously aching.and trembling.

some useless updates.
im going to play squash with my family later.
i always am injured before i play squash.
i didnt fail my lit essay. yayness.
i think i wun fail lit that badly now. since the wgp is only 7%.
sighs. i love mr connolly.
shiyin is sad. cheer ups girl.
junhao's sms is exploding so he only replied me once. haha.
he only had to carry 5 files home ytd. lucky dude.
shall be posting minnie driver's learn to be lonely next.
byebye.

<3333 from the aching arms girl who's trying to keep optimistic.
but i've waited all my life to find one true fren. but i guess true frens dun come that easily.