JOLYN CY♥
blessed (:

take me to the sky

4:43 PM 5wks can make a big difference. (:
and eoys' nxt wk.
and im afraid. blahb.
just mugged a lil.
cant stand mugging.

i just dun get it lar.
i mean. hmm.
casslyn doesnt like me.
yet she has given me that fake smile for ages.
and when i finally find out.
she still gives me that fake smile in frnt of other ppl.
and privately that nasty look.
so wad am i supposed to do?
act like i dunno and return her that dam smile?
that's definitely not wad i do. neither is it my style.
if you dun like me fine.
then why should i seem like i think u love me and adore u too.
isnt as if yoo re that adorable in the first place.

yea wadever la.
idunnowadtosay.hmm.

yea well. i din get any sms till i went out of the bus.
and i din hear any calling. too busy caring whether my box will topple.
well basically.
i dun see WHY casslyn will feel offended when ys talks to me.
i didnt know that talking to me was an OFFENCE.
GASPS. oh no. ppl out there. dun talk to me. its ILLEGAL.
yea.
and ys only get quiet answers within this 5wks cuz i dun feel very gay recently.
im only closer to qy cuz im not close to anyone huhs.
she gives u the feeling that you're included. i dun.
everytime you want to side with me, u dun in the end cuz you think i dun need u and you think i'll think its fake.
basically just summing up a lil so that i can write stuff.
you dun even know if im willing to hang out with you.
okay.

basically i think that.
its either casslyn or me or sandwiches.
cuz i hardly see the point for me to be friends with casslyn when i noe she doesnt even treat me as a human being.
and that she isnt true to her own feelings.
and that she just acts alot.
and i just despise and hate actors.
i mean. if u dun like me. tell me in the face or sth like vivian.
at least i resolved sth somehow with her.
but casslyn.
if she just wants to go on acting like that.
i see no point in anything.

and i dun agree that u get quiet answers la.
imean yea. i used to ignore u alot.
cuz i just aint gay and i feel pissed.
but quite recently.
i try to give u more responsive answers.
especially when im just with u and yunxi.
but when casslyn steps into the picture.
i just shut up when she alienates me out.
i dun feel the need to retaliate.
since no one seems to think she's leaving me out.
since everyone loves her alot.
since everyone likes the cutecute hamster.
since no one needs me.or wants my exsistence.
triumph for casslyn then.
i just hav to stand in a corner and let myself look invisible.
i noe u try to ask me to move forward.
but wads the use if i move and get even worse ignorance.
i just want people who appreciates me and takes my exsistance.
i dun wanna be in a triangle when i noe ppl hate me and i noe ppl half hate and half dun hate me.
its just very heart breaking.
and i dun exactly need more breakings.

lets see. i see no point in this post at all.
mum and dads naggin.
im not feeling gay.
bye.


+added+
oh yea. when you talk to casslyn. i dun exactly feel left out.
its just that when i talk to u.
i see her looking at me nastily.
then i hav to get her msg and scram dun i.
then she'll change her face and smile and talk to u.
i dun want her to be telling the whole world that im snatching u or sth.
when in the first place she.. nvm.
shall not go on.
feeling ungay.
+added+