JOLYN CY♥
blessed (:

take me to the sky

10:51 PM hmms. im feeling realli bad. reli disappointed. reli. depressed. i've nvr felt so beaten b4. hmms. i guess u're rite. whoeva im toking to. hmms.

newae. i reli dropped a big wae. major. form reli high n happie n elated mood ytd. to depression n disappointment todae. i reli dunno wad to sae. she. she said tt she wanted to nominate me for prefect-in-training nxt yr. i was. surprised but reli happie. although. i din reli show. hmm. then at home. i was like. hyperventilating. stoning becuz of tt news. i dunno la. felt so weird. a weird weird type of happiness? dunno la. no use saeing all tt nemore.

then todae. she told me tt she din get to hand in the form in time. actually. i sorta had tt feeling todae. cuz. if she reli wanted to nominate me. she would have to get me to sign on the form. but. tt nvr came. so. yea. weird hurs. then. heard tt she's asking for ppl to nominate her? ah wells. i feel like. some kinda fool being made of. some kinda scapegoat. being plaed around with. i dunno. feel so disappointed. nt becuz i din get to be nominated. i guess. i can alwaes b a pai kia. but. disappointed becuz. i feel betrayed by an onion. who is supposed to be. somehow trustworthy. i dunno. i reli feel veri sad la. then its like. she sounded fake enough. i can confirm tt inet was working ytd. cuz i went on. n she told me it wasnt working so she couldnt print out the form. ah wells. i dunno. mebe she's telling the truth. mebe im just a fool. mebe this was all. supposed to be a nightmare for me.

the worse thing is tt. im reli stressed up nowadaes. cuz like. there's tests/summatives. projects with near deadlines. n i just got some news to boost myself up then. everything just plunged down again. n i dun reli hav the mood to do anithing else. i just feel. bad. sad. dun feel like doing anithing. its a wrong attitude. yet. i just cant help it. well. mebe this sadness will help me plae my exam pieces sadder huh.

eeks. i rmb ytd night i was alredi sad enough. although i had tt happie news to support me. ytd night. i cried while listening to the grade 6 exam pieces cd. cuz. i felt tt i reli lagged alot. n tt. i need to buck up. but i dun hav tt time. i reli felt veri lost ytd. n todae. things were made worse for me. mebe this is some kind of challenge for me? or mebe just the whole world wanting to make me feel bad enough to fail my tests. fail my projs. n fail my piano exam. noo. i reli dunno wad to do. i wun cry todae. will i? i dunno. tears are forming alreadi. i feel like such a weakling. hahs. bleah. im sad. n im nt hiding tt animore. im sad.im sad. :(