Sunday, July 24, 2005
9:39 PM
NOOO. this so cant be happening to me. i cannot believe it. my hand hurts after i juz practised for like. 20mins. in the morning when i was pressing my fats. i winced at the pain. then when i was flexing my fingers for a while when i was bored. i started to notice the pain. again. so i decided to practise my piano. juz to test out..n it reli hurted. i was so dam mad at myself. n angry n sad tt. i juz kept practising n practising n i cried lar. i reli reli am scared now..like. this coming saturdae im having like. my 2nd n final grade6 piano mock test. n im reli lagging behind. i thot i could chiong this wk one. but now. my hand reli hurts lar. then. if i fail this wk's mock test. my teacher's gonna 'advise' or sorta make me back out from the exam. n if tt happens. reli will break into pieces. like. my mum forked out so much to pay for the fees for the past 7 months? n i put so much into plaeing these pieces. n these pieces 'expire' this yr. nxt yr new pieces le. n then. like. i'll reli loose my self esteem. reli reli break down. n tt'll be bad. reli reli bad. i juz dun wanna think bout it le. even if i can like. tell me teacher. n waive this mock exam or sth. still no use. i will fail my actual exam. n i noe it. i seriously noe how bad i am. n. i reli cannot afford to fail. i juz cant. n. this dumb hand's just not gonna do what i wan it to. i reli dunno wad to do now. nvr felt so flustered b4. seems even worse than psle. i dun even rmb crying for psle. urghh. i reli dunno wad to do. im dead meat. reli deadmeat. sighs.
